To me, Anorexia and Bulimia are painful lovers, but I can't let them go.

Ana tells you that you do not need all the crap they're trying to feed to you (literally and figuratively). You are above it all, you transcend normal, human needs. While everyone around you has to give in and cram their mouths with food, you can sit back and calmly refuse. You don't NEED food.

Mia tells you that you have a safety net. If you mess up, if you let Ana slip away, you can always run back to Mia for salvation. Mia can erase your mistake--not without a great deal of pain--but she can. Mia is someone I wouldn't seek out first. She is someone I fall back on to "fix" what I've done...and she punishes in an effort to teach you not to do it again.

A good thing about having an eating disorder is that you know there is something you can control. I cannot control my mental health--almost 2 decades of insanity and the use of almost every psychiatric drug there is has proven that fact. I can't control my kid's behaviour, my husband's looking at porno online, or my babies' daddy's irresponsibility. But I CAN control what I eat. I can control my disorder.